He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
