I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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