Buhtt sex?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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