If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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