i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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