i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Someone came in the potted fern
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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