you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
