you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
