I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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