I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
