dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
