Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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