I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
