I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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