I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
