Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
