when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
