his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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