And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
