u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
