who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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