he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry about my life...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
