She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Pants are for mortals
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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