It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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