he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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