Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
