Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
