we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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