he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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