On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
