We won't sleep together?
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
