she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
