Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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