Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Buhtt sex?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
