found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
