Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
