took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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