Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
