the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
