covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
