Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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