it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize