So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
