my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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