that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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