I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
