Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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