South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
