wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
