South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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