Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
