I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
