I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry my hands just texted you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think your dad took our porno
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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