eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
