what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
