So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
