Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”