your room smells of hookers.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
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Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.