: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
