Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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