I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
