she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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